Thursday, September 6, 2012

Very late teens

 I wanted to sign up for a class on using story telling to teach.  Due to some misinformation, I didn't find the right place to register until after the class was full.  Then I found another class that I hadn't noticed before,  How to talk to teens.  Occasionally when something like this happens, some people call it a coincidence, Karma, fate, I think of it as Angel Interference.  Angels interfered long enough for me to get where I needed to be.  For 5 hours last night I listened as they discussed how the teenage mind developed.  They talked about how drugs and alcohol stop the social and emotional development.  My mind burned with the question, what about abuse?  What does abuse do to the teenage mind?  I waited patiently, then there it was the third factor that arrested growth, severe stress.  It kept the amygdala, spinning and controlling instead of developing on to adult emotions.  Frozen in time...life arrested...long freaking pause...until conditions are safer and choices are made to once again move forward.  I still remember the conversation with KavinCoach a few years ago.  He described to me what developments happen during the teenager years.  I felt baffled why he was reviewing the information.  I watched all 6 of my kids navigate through those choppy waters.  Turbulent with emotion, risk taking, testing their decision making, highs and lows, I knew what they had been through I watched and worried and rejoiced as they each developed into amazing wonderful adults.  Very quietly KavinCoach asked, "Did you do that?"  Like a pile up on an eight lane freeway, my mind grid locked then slowly started to function.  I slowly stated, "Don't tell me that I am going to have to be a teenager."  KavinCoach sat quietly.  Images flashed, thoughts clashed, a growing overwhelming feeling like waking up on Freaky Friday but I don't have anyone to trade places with, this is all me.  My mind is trying to absorb everything they are saying in class.  This is exactly where I need to be right now.  I felt relief when I read Roots2Blossom, I am not doing this alone.  She is discovering like I am a voice that was denied as a teenager and learning to monitor what is said takes practice.  I am kind of excited that we each have a chance to do what was denied all those years ago.  We get to grow up.  For me, doing this at over 50 instead of 15 has some real challenges.  I also believe it is an amazing opportunity to learn to thrive. 

 Roots2blossom shares her adventures. 
http://roots2blossom.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/blogging-may-be-bad-for-my-filter/


TILT!

8 comments:

Scatha said...

Yay for Ruth!

Your post inspired me to write my own about never being a teenager.
I think this is something most of us share, missing childhood or missing teenage years.
It must be so exciting to attend to that class! I wish I could be there with you :)
It doesn't matter that you are doing this a bit later than most people. What is important now is that you were guided to a place where you can experience spreading your wings and learning how to fly.
I am sure it will be a wonderful experience.

Anonymous said...

My stunted growth shifts between five and 14 years of age, emotinoally speaking. I read or heard somewhere that typically adults don't "come into their own" or have a solid handle on themselves until roughly late twenties. For men espeically. Not sure how true that is, but it sure makes sense now. I'll have to accelerate my emotinoal development now, from adolescant to teen, to young adult, to adult. Yikes.

Evie said...

This is kind of amazing, Ruth. I guess you were destined to take this class. :) I'm looking forward to what you explore and what you learn.

Take care,
Evie

PS. We've nominated you for an award... or 3, if you want. :)

http://beingelle.com/2012/09/06/blogger-awards/

mulderfan said...

Divine intervention came to my mind. Wish we could get together and live it up, Ruth! I'm thinking of dyeing my hair, wearing make-up, and maybe even going to the drive-in, with...get this, a date! Woo-hoo!

Ruth said...

Thank you Scatha, I love the perspective that I am learning to fly. I hope it is as wonderful as you think it will be. :)

Hi lifesizevision, the workshop teacher said the same thing they called 18-24 late teens and said that men could be as late as 27. I pointed out in class that a lot of life's big decisions happen during that time. I think of what happened is more like being put on pause for a time.

Thank you Evie, I appreciate the awards...I am kind of scattered so may take a few days to get my acceptance post together. Take care.

I talked myself out of electric blue hair, kind of a blue rinse grandma teen style. Have fun on the date and wouldn't it be fun to be able to get together for a teen party. Maybe I can figure out how to have a teen party on line. Has me thinking. :)

Cassandra said...

It's so funny how a lot of us tend to start thinking of the same themes at about the same time. For the last week, I've been in the midst of trying to figure out how to write about my missed teens (and twenties, and mostly thirties... my chronological age is finally catching up to the age NM always wanted me to be, while she also works at keeping me in those pre-adult years where I have no rights and no boundaries).

I'm with lifesizevision; I've been trying to catch up on all the missed stages of my life since college! You're right about being put on pause. These "Passages" (who wrote that book in the 70's?) can't be ignored or skipped over or instantaneously moved past at an NP's will. The two choices are that they come out, or we stay stuck.

-A future electric-blue-haired 72-year-old

Cassandra said...

Ooh, an online teen party... I like the way you think! (Gotta invite Kiki! :) )

Ruth said...

I was thinking of Kiki's party when I thought of it. Thanks Cassandra. :)